• Living

    Summer Solstice

    If you have talked to me or met me in the last two days you know that I am going through a massive shift, and that it has been messy. I could see it coming, all the signs were there. But I pushed through until I was supposed to wake up at 3.30am for a sunrise wild swim, which I had been excited about for a long time, but could not physically (and emotionally) manage.

    My mind has gone back to dark places where it should not be allowed to go back, and I have been overwhelmed by life (and not in a good way) – ending with the usual feeling that  I want to leave my family. In the past 6 months, I have stretched myself and said yes without enough details to make an informed decision, because I wanted to put myself out there. I felt reinvigorated by the sun, nature coming out, and overstretched myself. This week, I did a product photoshoot (a new thing for me), gone to a new restaurant menu launch (definitely enjoyable), had edited pictures (of photoshoot) rejected (that hurt), did my actual work (which pays me, so essential), went to see if I could open a shop (I do not need it) and hosted a few meetings (my salvation this week), as well as spending a whole morning at Sports Day and a meeting for a school trip.

    Today is the longest day of the year, and it feels that I also reached my peak of activities (and exhaustion) and I am looking forward to going back inward, and reflecting of what I learnt, and leave the noise and distractions at the door. And sleep better (and longer).

    I do not believe in saying no. I probably go against every self-book currently available. I would not have opened as many doors as I did in the last 6 months if I had, without a doubt, and made as much progress I did.

    However I should have asked more questions, and definitely followed my gut feeling a bit more. All these doors were meant to be opened, and explored, and today I closed a couple of them – feeling relieved – but knowing that another path has appeared in front of me.

    Shorter days are coming, and I feel it is time for introspection, and focussing more on my needs, and what I enjoy doing, and doing more of it. I am looking toward for making more time at home available.

    Did you feel the effect of the summer solstice on your work flow and mental health, or is it just me reading too much into it?

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One comment
Summer Solstice

  • Helen says:

    I can’t bear to think of the days getting shorter after summer solstice . I know that they do , but in my head they continue in the same way until about September or October .
    I’m sorry those dark places have crept back to you Nat . All I can say is , hold on in there love x